The Beginning - Act 1

In which the protagonist is introduced to the reader

It was while I was attending High School in Queens that I received a bite from a radioactive spider and my life changed forev… No, hang on, that’s Peter Parker. Sorry – easy mistake to make. Let’s try again.

It was while I was attending Secondary School in Birmingham that I first got into war gaming. Yes, that sounds more likely.

This would have been around 1993 and being at an all-boys school (and not being adept at the school sports of rugby, hockey and cross-country), painting tiny models of imaginary warriors seemed like a perfectly normal occupation.

My early hobby career was all Games Workshop. I started out in 40k with a glorious army of Ultramarines, spray-painted metallic purple (the closest colour match my Dad had in his shed). This was followed by Eldar (back when an Avatar of Khaine was cool, and not the punchline to a joke), Space Hulk (second edition), Tyranids, and a Necromunda Cawdor gang (first edition). Then there was a brief foray into Blood Bowl (with a borrowed human team) and finally Warhammer Fantasy Battle* with an Undead horde.

My time as a wargamer came to an end along with the 2ndmillennium; I discovered girls (a girl), alcohol (much thereof), and the untrammelled opportunities of university – and left my armies of tiny angry people behind. Fin de Siecle indeed.


* What the hell? I mean honestly, I take 20 years off and Games Workshop destroys the entire damned world. And then rebuild it with a bastardised continuity and added stupid names. What’s that all about?